My Journey KL-LONDON

Love Is In The Air...

2012-01-24T13:12:00.000Z

assalamualaikum...alhamdulillah atas segala nikmat dan rahmatNya..4 hari holiday..I think my stomach is so gonna explode..sadis sangat episod makan-makan me and kyra..I soo don't like long holidays la...My car bearing rosak..so,tersadai jeklah me and Kyra kat umah...Dok ulang pegi KL dengan the Curve ajer..

Actually this 2,3 days rasa a bit down lah...thinkin of him too much...Bila dah tak larat nak nangis..I just talked to Al-Mighty and mengadu..alhamdulillah I got better...Bila fikir-fikir balik,how not fun my life selama nie..maybe Kyra is right,I'm not so fun anymore..Bukan tak cuba..but usually I failed to be the old jovial me.

Nevertheless,ada jugak benda yang buat I happy...at least for a while kan...Sila rujuk tajuk entry nie..Love is In The Air..Ha..ha...dah mula le tu buat speculation nakal kannnnnn..Well,betullah tuh..chenta hati dah ada..and our 1st date was awesome...

Siapakah yang BERTUAH ittew????

Ce teka..ce teka..:)

Dia Ni!

Hi everyone...My Miss P dah sampai! All the way from Lund,Sweden.....:)

Love Is In The Air..Ain't she gorgeous??? Ok,mode duduk diam-diam setahun nie...Boleh caya ker??? Lalalalaala...Take care pretty peeps!

Picture Perfect!

2012-01-22T10:36:00.001Z

assalamualaikum....I'm sorry its been a while since I conteng something here...Busy tu busy la but its not the ultimate reason I didn't update my blog..Mood nak blogging tu macam suam-suam kuku aja..Ceritanya banyak..yang best,sweet,menyakitkan hati,men stress kan jiwa..semua ada...But nak gather strength bukak lappy and bukak blog tu pun masalah..kadang FB tu pon status tak ber hup date..kemalasan melanda jiwa

Well...I've been thinking about life.. a lot...bila I go through old pictures of my family..I realise how perfect it was..walau kami bukan ada duit menggunung..walau kami bukan berpangkat tinggi..sekadar ada rumah selesa untuk berteduh..kereta untuk bergerak..I felt that I'm the happiest girl on earth...sebab bersama dengan mereka yang menyayangi diri ini seadanya...

I wished I could go back to the moments when everything seems perfect..when I got someone to go back to...To massage my legs and shoulder after a long day at work and school..I tried so hard not talk about him too much..not because I tried to forget him but everytime the subject is him...my heart just can't hold that much burden..therefore my eyes pon akan banjir...It was painful..and it still is..:((((

My life felt so empty without him.....sangatttt...sampai ada moments yang I felt that nothing matters anymore....without him..maybe the reason I didnt wanna go back to school is sebab he's not gonna be there during the graduation..And I know how it will break my heart....:((((((

Kadang-kadang rasa malas nak hidup tu datang..when you used to be with someone for almost 13 years..every seconds goes by without that person just felt like a sharp knife cutting your every veins...Can you ever imagine your life without your other half?Then you'll know how I feel..

I want this.......AGAIN

PICTURE PERFECT!

I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH,ABANG!

While You Were Sleeping

2011-12-28T08:38:00.000Z

aslm..Salam Rabu...perghh..this entry title reminded me of that film "While You Were Sleeping".I think heroin dia Sandra Bullock kot..Sweet gila citer tu..Well,ni kira my version of that la kan...:P

This is dedicated to my darling husband...yang,while you were sleeping..banyak jugakla benda yang dah jadi...I took a leave from my studies..ntahla bila nak sambung balik..gila tengah kumpul motivation.But a good friend of mine has put some sense in my head..Dia suruh I wake up,move on..Dia kata dia dah tebas jalan and buat lorong for me..and if I terpijak duri along the way and sakit,dia akan cabut duri tu and will not let me be in pain.Sweet kan?Well time nilah,kawan baik itu penting..yang mengerti,yang memahami..

Insy,i will go back to school very soon sebab that is what my husband want jugak.As for Kyra,she's gonna take UPSR soon..arghhh...besar dah budak tuuuu..huwwwaaaa.....then masuk hughschool,then masuk Uni,then got married,then I dah bercucu...errkkkk....gila sadis,kan?I made her promise the other day that she'll let me stay with her nanti..kejam,kan?nampak sangat takde niat nak kawen lain kan:P:P:P:P:P

Kyra dah almost a year dah belajar piano..rasa bangga gila everytime I hear her play...Hope abah dia pun boleh see her from above..:(:(:(..Finally,kan..I ada 2 wishes for 2012..

Yang pertama,nak beli ni:-

This is for Kyra..So,that dia boleh practice..now,dia practice guna my Yamaha Keyboard aja,yang I bought from hani masa i darjah 5..Berapa tahun dah tu keynoard tuh?20 years,ok?Eh,terbagitau pulak umur ahkak!Cheh :P

Ok,and for me...yelah,kan,dah keje penat-penat cam nak mampos,of course la I pon nak something gaks..I punya murah jek....

Handbag kah?

Nope?

Kan I dah ada cik P*AD*

Lalalalalaalal...

Well,I nak benda nie jek,yang datang sekali dengan kawan baik baru?

Sapa?

Ni lah!

Datang dengan personal assisstant sekali called SIRI....owh,I'm so in love..kira oklah kan..kaler pon sama dengan my macbook..kira sedondon perr?Alasannnn kan?

melampau tak kalau pakai 2 iphones???? :P:P:P:P:P

Tiba Juga.......

2011-12-17T06:35:00.000Z

assalamualaikum...

Today....17th December 2011..The day I wished I don't have to go through..I wished I could freeze the time..stop it forever....Today's date exactly a year ago..was the day my life changed forever....The day that he slipped away...the day that that I found it won't be the same again....The day I died...I died inside.....

I was thinkin bout this day...and I don't know how I'll cope with it..To be honest,I started crying a week ago..Its not something I planned but rather came naturally...I started reminiscing like my heart has it own mind...semua benda jadi menyedihkan dan memilukan...

I just can't believe that its been a year...since his passings...rasa macam baru semalam I went to his funeral..macam baru aja I sat by his grave and talked to him...demm this feelings I'm having...:(

After his passings I terfikir how I nak go thru a day without him..a night without him..rasa macam too impossible..rasa sakit macam nak mati...nak melepaskan malam tu punyalah seksanya..then I had to deal with my panic attacks lagi..memang sadis masa tuh..I'm on medication lagi...bangun tengah-tengah malam just to found out he was not sleeping beside me tu sangat menyeksakan...

Then a week passed me by..bulan berganti bulan and today..genap setahun pemergian kekasih hati....Macam tak percaya I've gone through a year dah..yang rasanya almost penuh dengan limpahan air mata dan kesayuan...Air mata yang tumpah kerana terlalu merindui my best friend,my lover and my husband..Bukan kerana tidak redha..tapi kerana terlalu merindui his presence....:((((

But of course I know that orang yang I sayang itu milik Dia...Maha Pencipta...jadi,bila dia menjemput balik hakNya,I kena redha..sebab from the beginning pun his never mine...Abang,mama dengan Tirah sayang sangat kat abang...and kalau mama boleh tukar apa-apa milik mama just to bring you back,I would....Tapi mama tak mampu,yang...

Mama harap kita dapat jumpa....one fine day..and till then,biarlah kita saling merindui...and remember this.."If I would choose again,I'd still choose you..anytime,anywhere...Be Mine Always,sweetheart..

Owh,today ada something happy yang jadi dalam family I...Let the picture tell you that..And for both of you,you know who you are..congratulations!

Dia...Dia dan Dia Lagi..

2011-12-09T02:42:00.000Z

assalamualaikum...

TGIF kan??? perghhh,gila penat this week...I sooooo need a padi and mani la..or a spa treatment...cliche kan? Well...tok nenek kita dulu menoreh,menyabit,menebas,takda pon spa treatment bagai..hidup aja sihat wal-afiat...kita nie yang manja terlebey kot :P

Well,this week I'm so emotionally unstable...I've been thinkin of him a lot..when I mean a lot..its a whole lot...I missed him badly..can't even think of him,mesti nak bergenang air mata..I missed just being with him..when he didn't say anything..just lokk at me with his dopey look..that I Love You So Much look..Gosh,writing this pon dah buat jiwa I sakit...:(

He's so perfect in his own way...he cooks,he cleans,he cares...he loves...I can never find anything wrong about him...Dulu when he was around..he annoys me with his attitude..banyak jugaklah yang tak berkenan kat mata I..

But now,I missed seeing a wet towel on our bed..I missed seeing his cigarettes in the toilet..I missed him calling me names...Gosh,this emptiness is killing me....:( Moving on tu macam nampak far lagi...I know I'm still the old me...Trying my very best to move on..but..only me je yang tau how it feel..

Gosh,its been almost a year kan...without his presence....He still lingers around me...the memories we had...Its hard when you've been with someone that is almost perfect...because you tend to compare him with everyone else..and in the end..he wins..in the end...nothing or no one compares to him...I'm so used to be pampered and loved in certain ways...so,its difficult to even open your heart..

I guess this ramblings of mine mesti bosankan you all kan...grieving....I'm sorry it had to be in this space...Its just writing about it made me feel better..and when you read it I don't have to explain why I'm feeling certain ways...I do hope you understand...

Well maybe some of you don't because you are not in my shoes..But try not having your husband around for a week ot two,and you had to manage everything,dengan anak semua..then you know what I'm talking about..I've been without him for a year..and trust me,its pain beyond pain..its hard...not just without physical supports..but the emotional support most of the time..

When you just one someone to talk to...someone to hold you and whisper in your ears that he's gonna be there with you,you don't have to worry,things gonna get better...That kinda emotional support...demm,I miss those moments..

I don't understand why do I'm here..back to square one...rasa macam tak berdaya nak hidup,nak go on,I need him so badly...to just simply be there...just to sing beside me and put me to bed..

I'm hurt..so damn hurt.....:((((((

Dari Mata Turun Ke Hati

2011-12-06T02:16:00.002Z

assalamualaikum..

Heya lovely peeps...Happy Tuesday,cayang! Hope everyone is well and cukup rest throughout the weekends..I'm tired,mentally and physically...Bila lah nak lepak mana-mana island,sun bathing and relax sambil dengar the sound of the ocean..OK,mode verangan kat Brazil macam Bella honeymoon dengan edward kat Island tuh...lalalalala..minus the naked part dalam laut tu yer? :P

Ok,today nak share something...Mood baik untuk sharing is caring yer..Sejak dua menjak busy tahap gaban nie kan,dah jarang ada time nak sharing lagie kan...blame my hectic work schedule tau...not me..:P

Ok,as we know,women nie kan bila dah masuk 30an,mula la kulit nak berkedut sana-sini,ada dark circle la,eye bag la..kan..Lagi-lagi minah kelawar macam I yang tak reti nak tido pukul 10pm nie kan..Kalau tak pukul 1am,mata memang takleh nak padam,except kalau betul-betul penat..so,terbentuklah dark circle and eye bag..kan..seperti ini..

Tengok ni!

Larikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!! Mode:Sembunyi dalam gua sambil hantuk-hantuk kepala kat stalaktik dan stalagmit..

Eh??

Sadis kan eye bag ku..hadoila....cemana agaknya yer when I reached 40? ok,takyah imagine now..lambat lagi wei...lalalalala..Lama la sangatttttttt....memandangkan saya rasa sangat insaf melihatkan mata saya,sepantas kilat saya pegi kedai and purchase ini cream..yang diwar-war sebagai best-seller...Mangkuk hayun mana la yang sorok La Mer eye cream aku tuh..memang keji lahhh...Tak pasal-pasal kene beli yang ni!

The Immortelle Precious Eye Balm is an eye cream with anti-aging benefits. Reduce dark circles, puffiness and signs of fatigue around the eyes with this gentle cream. Formulated with Immortelle essential oil, it will soothe, moisturize, nourish and tone the delicate skin around the eyes..

Well..after a month of using it twice a day,hasilnya...

Jeng-Jeng..Jeng...

"

"

"

Tadaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

Dah kurang banyak,kan? Kagum plaks tengok mata sendiri..larikkkkkkkkk!!!

Definasi Cantik Tu Tak Sama Wei!!

2011-12-05T01:49:00.000Z

assalamualaikum..

Happy Monday pretty peeps...Well,thank god that I suddenly got my writing mojo back..Gila tinggal blok bersawang...tuh pun ada gak visitors yang jenguk..Thanks yer you all..Ni yang I sayang kat korang ha..memang loyal la..I loike..:)

Well,the other day I was out,shopping..and dining...I punya peel is,suka makan relax2 sambil cuci-cuci mata lah..kotla ada mamat yang iras Aaron Aziz ke kan..lalalala..Keji,kan?Hahahaha,just kiddin..Well,I suka observe orang..baik dari segi dressing or attitude..suka sangat...Rupa-rupanya macam-macam jenis orang ada kat dunia ni kan?kelakar..

Dulu time zaman-zaman menggedik bila kuar dengan member2 ber yoya..Mesti member aku akan cakap.."Meen,cuba tengok couple tuh..perghh,awek cun gila babeng,tapi pakwe dia cuba kau tengok,muka cam jembatan tak siap"..Kata kawan aku..Statement memang tak bleh blah kan?? sadis arr..

Tak pun..ayat camni.."Gila handsome and tough mamat tuh,alahai..awek dia tak cun langsung arr..tak padan gila..Patut mamat tuh ngorat aku"..Ni lagi statement berani mati ha...Tapi kan,kengkadang kita sendiri pon pikir the same thing kan? Frankly,I jarang tengok couple yang pakwe memang handsome and awek dia memang cun..Kira sama padan arr...Mesti ada yang dominate the other kan??

Kadang dulu saket hati pon ada gak..Motif?? Sebab kununnya kita yang patut jadi gf mamat handsome tuh kan...Uwweekk,,,sila cermin diri sendiri dulu kay..Termasuk haku...Lalalalala...

Well,cemana nak comment yer?Orang kata,rupa tuh tak penting,yang penting hati..ikhlas sayang..perangai tak menyetan..kan? I think ni semua balik pada individual preferences la..Kadang I dengan my husband dulu selalu bertekak kes aku cakap pompuan tu tak cantik,dia kata cantik.Bila aku kata cun gila,dia kata"Macam tu cun? Tak cun langsung..Eh la laki aku nie....sod ba Ro betul dengan dia tau...So,betulla pepatah yang kata "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder"..memasing punya citarasa..Ada orang kata kurus tuh sexy..ada orang kata chubby tu lagi sexy..kahkahkah...

But if you asked me..betulla rupa tu tak sepenting hati sebab bila kau dah tua ganyut nanti yang cun pon dah tak cun,yang handsome pon dah kedut medut...so,masa tuh memang hati la yang penting kan..tapi for me,sedap mata memandang itu penting yer..Sebab kalau dah kat mata kita pon tak sedap pandang,cemana nak mengadap muka tu 365 hari kan?

Tapi kan,kalau muka handsome or rupa cun tapi hati macam puaka...pon I taknak gak..setujuuu???? So,tepuk dada tanya selera...yang penting boyfriend aku,si Jacob and laki aku si Edward dua-dua handsome...Eh??? :PPPP

Nigella yang still comel walau chubby :P

Betapa Ku Terlalu....

2011-12-02T12:22:00.000Z

assalamualaikum..

A very sad Friday for me.....Awal-awal pagi lagi dah sadis....Woke up for my subuh prayer..then after baca quran sikit,dozed off again....For around 1 hour..Its not that i overslept ke apa..but what happened in that intense 1 hour....

I dreamt of him!!! After almost a year! selama ni,selalu doa agar dia muncul dalam mimpi ni supaya hilang segala luka..terubat sedikit rindu dan sepi ni...Namun,tak sekali pun dia muncul....And I started thinking that maybe he was mad at me..coz I tried to move on....arrghh..air mata nie memang tak dapat ditahan-tahan lagi...:( :( :(

I used to play the video cam again and again so that I could hear his voice..just to feel him...just to hurt myself..I thought it would cure the pain..maybe for a little bit..But it doesn't..All this while,I regret that I never asked him to record his voice in my phone..so that when I missed him,I could listen to it again and again...:(

The dream I had after Subuh this morning was that we went somewhere and I was holding my Nokia phone,thinking that this time I should ask him to record his voice..just in case he leave me again..sadis kan..I don't really remember what we did in the dream but we do hold hands and we did go to somewhere yang bukan in Malaysia..I think its in UK...

When I got up,I felt this sharp pain in my heart...Felt like someone stabbed me there..again and again...and I bleed...and bleed....

Then,I got hurt...and the pain was greater than it was before..and here I am..hurt.....and I'm back to square one..Al-mighty..please....have mercy on me and his soul...grant me some patience so that I could at least..LIVE.....:(

Flawless La Sangatttttt

2011-12-01T04:33:00.001Z

Assalamualaikum...

Tetiba sehari dua nie ada mood pulak nak update blog lepas dah berspider web bagai..Gila,kan? maybe sekarang mood bahagia sebab ada chenta baru...lalalala...sapa baca my blog yesterday tau la pasal chenta baru ku ittew...Tapi belum dapat lagi laaarrrr..Nantilah dah dapat baru leh show and tell kan ::P

Well,saja la nak update you all about my journey nak mendapatkan flawless skin kunun nie..sadis lah..lama dah tak tunjuk progress kan...As you know,I'm using La Mer skin full set kecuali eye cream dia lama dah haku tatau mana ku campak kan..sadis lah..So,instead I'm using L'ocittane punya eye balm...That one nanti I buat different entry kay..

Entry nie just pasal facial wash,toner and that moisturiser cream of La Mer...Nak kene carik balik nie gambar lama sebelum mengguna La Mer...Jap..jap...

TUTUP MATA

Errkkk.....

Ok,Muka agaks kusam and tak bermaya di situh,nie masa pegi kenduri kawen bulan February kot..so,after almost 10 months..Jeng-jeng jeng...

Ada beza kan my skin texture and complexion..Sangat puas hati walaupun poketku rabak..at least takyah nak inject botox bagai kann....

Wah,Kyra dah tanned gilaaaaaaaa.....sadisnya!! Takpe,nanti besar,pandai-pandai la kau nak pakai Fair & Lovely,yer nakkk...:P

New Love....Pray For Me..

2011-11-30T13:56:00.000Z

Assalamualaikum..its been a while since I jot something here..Well,apart of being so occupied with works..I can't seem to find the suitable mojo to write...Maybe I'm getting old..or no fun anymore..hahahaha..

Well,just a short update...lalalala,just wanna tell you all that I'm waiting for that special moment...Yeap..I'm in LOVE...can't wait for our first date in December..Wait for mr me my love......Since all of you have been so loyal with me,I can't resist to reveal..I know I told you I won't fall in love again..but...I guess,fate is so unpredictable right...

Dan pemenangnya adalahhhhhhhhhh......Please,keep this as a secret..

For Your Eyes Only...

Lalalalala..the other half will be reveal..SOON! Owh,I'm So In Love!!!!

Not The Same Girl...

2011-11-14T16:13:00.000Z

assalamualaikum...

I'm sorry its been a while since I jot something in here..Well,life is hectic...but the truth is I don't know what I did..sedar-sedar jer its another day...It's a brand new day...And deep down i knew that its just the same day as it was before..It felt the same..since he left...

I hated myself...for not being the same girl..the same jovial,cheerful mom..I've become someone else...someone that I didn't know...someone that I didn't wanna be..Kyra said I'm no fun anymore..And I knew that...But still,I let myself drowned....I went deeper and deeper..Didn't wanna be rescued....

I missed the old silly me...Laughed till I cried..dance in the rain,dived in the blue ocean and fed the fish...do some crazy stuffs...with him,with kyra...I missed playing Monopoly and scrabble with Him and Kyra..I missed those long conversation we had before sleep

I missed him so damn much...so damn much.....I know that whatever I did pun,he's not coming back...How hard I cried pun,he's not coming back to wipe my tears...He's gone....and I'm not here too...Allah Al-mighty,I wished..someday...I'll be able to pick up the little pieces of me..and be strong again..Al-Fatihah my dear husband..Everywhere I am there you'll be.....:(

When you are just too tired..

2011-11-05T14:42:00.001Z

assalamualaikum..Salam aidiladha to all my readers out there..I believed some of you even fast today..I was planning to..but unfortunately nature calls..so,what to do,yang penting niat kita ye dak?

I'm sorry its been a while..since I wrote something here..Even ada my readers yang personally asked me whether I'm ok and why I've not been writing...Well,there's no specific reason..its just that I'm too bust with works...kyra's final exam and dealing with my own personal emotions...

Have you ever tried to be a strong person...and in the end you realised that you're just pretending just to make everyone around you happy?have you ever had to put up a smile when your heart is bleeding so badly?

Its been almost a year and I kept saying to myself that he has gone..forever..Its just that my heart kept denying the fact that he had left....I feel so tired..tired of crying..tired of counting days to see him again...:(

Buat apa pun rasa tak sempurna..Masak pun rasa ada yang kurang...Bila cuba bahagiakan hati sendiri,bahagia tu tak sepenuhnya...I can't be living like this forever,can I?? Kadang-kadang hati tu terpujuk..Kadang-kadang luka tu rasa seakan nak sembuh..tapi..kadang-kadang..luka tu boleh berdarah balik and it hurts..even worse than before...

Kadang-kadang mencintai itu menyakitkan....Kadang-kadang mempunyai itu memedihkan bila kehilangan..Loosing someone is my biggest fear....Sebab hati nie tak boleh berbohong...Sometimes I wished I didn't love him this much...so that I didn't have to go through this endless pain..

I wished I could run from all this..this reality and go hide somewhere in a cave or what..so that I could grieve...so that I could heal..Trying to make myself busy just didn't work anymore..I'm tired of trying...maybe I should just give up and vanished...

This wound left the deepest scar...that is gonna be there forever...The other day,I came back from work,saw Kyra sleeping on the sofa...My tears kept falling..Pedih gila seeing my daughter...growing up without her abah..Gila pedih perasaan itu..I still have my papa at the age of 31..and she lost her dad at the age of 9..Tell me how am I supposed to feel about it? :( :(

And all of you gotta bear with me..kan..I'm sorry..Its just that sometimes..it felt so tiring..going on...without your strength...I'm praying that things will get better one day..Please pray for me and Kyra....You take care darlings...

His Last Anniversary Note

2011-10-20T18:23:00.000+01:00

assalamualaikum my dear readers....Today mark our 11th Anniversary..if he was here..:( I've cried since last Saturday actually,kesian biras saya yang kena dengar kan?Thank you,Ayu,for always be there,when I needed you...Hope kau jangan serik dengan aku eeaa??

Demm I felt bad....The most awkward part was a year ago,me and him,we celebrated our 10th Anniversary together and our initial plan was to celebrate our 11th Anniversary in Paris this year...Kita manusia hanya mampu merancang,kan..Tapi Tuhan jua yang menentukan..He was called menghadap Ilahi just almost 2 months after we celebrated our 10th Anniversary...

Jangan tanya how I felt..Sebab the pain is beyond pain already...Sakit tu dah tak tertanggung..Pedih tu tak terungkapkan....My best friend,my lover..my husband...segalanya dia...seorang lelaki yang mencintai sepenuh hati....yang mengajar aku erti kehidupan..erti cinta sejati..susah senang bersama...yang meyakinkan aku bahawa cinta sejati itu sebenarnya wujud....:(

My 1st love...and definitely my last....Today I wanna share with you all his last note which I found in FB..He wrote it back in 2008...Happy 11th Anniversary,Sayang..Meen sayang gila kat abang..Abang jangan lupa jenguk Meen and Kyrana bila abang rindu yer..:( If only you know how hurt it is to even wake up everyday thinking that you were gone..........Tears are just uncountable...I pray that we will be together forever...one day,sayang..I love you...with all my heart....

angel of mine...my angel of mercy!

by Rahiman Bin Rahim on Sunday, 19 October 2008 at 20:04

there was this time - to some it will arrive sooner than expected.no such thing as 'warning'. no room for preps.no exception.no mercy.and no guarantee that every man will sail thru successfully.to me,before i could even blinked...recently!

no exact word to describe.no previous experience to compare.no examples.

then,there'll be no one who'd understand.no human being on this planet seems confideable.no 'sifu' to guide.because there's no word to describe.no experience.no examples.and you'd decide not to break the silence.but then,even the wisdom of silence betrays you.sudden and complete loneliness.empty and darkened rooms everywhere.sharp and cold, of the coldest winter.bliss torture,torment and true agony...

then,the air became too thick to breathe.the eyes burnt on your way down to the deepest,darkest place within,where you 're suppose to loose yourself.you'd want to just stop there, or even before.you know there's already this jagged edge that would fail and bury you deeper everytime you fall.again and again and everytime again,this evil laughter of hatred and sarcasm repeatedly and killingly provoked you.

and yes, you'd try and try to reach and gasp for clean air,but the more and harder you inhale,your lungs sickeningly clogged and you'd try to exhale to clear the poison,but it'll shoot-up your brain and it slowly melted and felt like flowing down and out your ears. your burnt and blinded eyes felt like popping out.long moments ago, you're already on your bleeding knees...scratching the ground around you with your rottening fingers, your nails falling painfully...

you'd come very, very close to forgetting hope. you just want to fall asleep or just drift away...willing to be forgotten...and to be damned...!!

what,then?when everything seems lost.you are cut,very deeply and bleeding hell,but still you prayed,you cried,you begged,you screamed - you'd even die so you just can feel the crushing pain,because this is just beyond pain.......

and suddenly you felt this soft,silky smooth,healing hands...that pulled you up and comfortly whispered that you woudn't be falling no more and promised and sweared to be with you all the way - no rooms for even shadows of betrayal.and all wounds will heal.all dark clouds blown away.ray of lights, cured your blindness and your eyes teared with joy...the surrounding air cleared and you can almost smell the green of grass,the garden of eden...

then you'll hear this heavenly whisper again,softly asking you to breathe and to feel alive and you'll suddenly feel these little pieces of you coming back together, the forgotten strength that you used to have,even barely enough,pulsating again...and you feel your heartbeat again...

and you know,you believe that you can hold on to those hands and those hands will just take you fly and touch the seventh sky,thru the gates of heavenly paradise...

but what matters mostly, the human feeling that your feet is on the ground,there's this part of life called 'joy' and there's always someone there beside you that you can turn to, lend a shoulder to cry on to and just simply be a true friend and that she'd always and always be there for you,rise or fall,rich or poor....till death do you part...

for that and for what i am, i couldnt be thankful enough...

and for that and for what i am,i thank you - isteriku tersayang...Happy Anniversary.i love you, my angel of mercy!

Seribu Tahun Lagi

2011-10-19T20:40:00.001+01:00

Hey babes..Just a short update..Nak share dengan you all especially twillighters kat luar tu kan..Dah dengar Breaking Dawn punya Soundtrack..Sapa suka Christina Perri yang nyanyi Jar of Hearts tu?Me...Me...Ok,ni her new release and its a BD punya soundtracks..Gila best lagu nie,meleleh la gaks air mata dengar...uhukuhukuhuk..I missed you honey

I Have Died Everyday waiting for you..Darling don't be afraid..I have loved you for a thousand years..I'll love you for a thousand more..

Enjoy..Panas lagi nie.....Heheheeheh..Just for you..Love you all...

Ferasan Puteri Gunung Ledang..

2011-10-14T04:03:00.003+01:00

asslamualaikum..TGIF,peeps....wah,esok dah Saturday,hari bekerja,hokey muahahahaha..meh gelakkan diri sendiri..Tapi tak apalah,I will bring kyra with me,so not too bad..As long as she's with me,I felt secure..and tenang...

Actually,last week kitorang pegi jalan-jalan carik makan,jalan-jalan mandi manda...Kira ni ad hoc plan la...Habis keje segala pon dah 5 pm lebih Saturday tuh,memula plan asal nak panjat Cameron,then alih-alih depa call aku cakap pegi Melaka and mandi kat Sagil pulak..wah.....dahla sejak balik Mesia nie I don't really go here and there,so,packing kelam kabut,bertolak from here 5.30pm,sampai Melaka,settle down tu dah 10pm la kot.

Dinner mana ek?Mana lagi kalau tak kat Umbai Pernu tuh kan..1st time la I makan 1 benda nie..memula geli kay nak makan,rupa pelik gila..But saja jek la nak try sebab "Tak kenal maka tak cinta" kan...Nak tau apa?Menda nie!

Pepahat kot nama dia..Memang 5 stars wei..mabeles!!

Makan was fine but ada perkara sadis gila jadik kat Umbai tuh...Al kisahnya hujan turun renyai-renyai..I nie pon ambikla payung nak cover Kyra kan..Betul-betul depan meja-meja orang tengah melantak seafood tau..Then,bukak punya bukak,payung tuh mengembang ke atas tau instead of terbukak normally....hadoila,sudahnya semua orang sorak,Me,Shah,Aisyah dengan Eily bantai gelak dulu..then baru betulkan balik payung tuh,terus larik pegi makan kedai lain..sadis wei...Musnah reputasi I,key..:P

Then malam tuh we all tido homestay,apartment 2 bilik,ok la selesa but harga cekik darah nak mampos,RM250 kay,plus deposit RM350..Okla,bolejh tido tuh kira okla kan..kecuali air paip dia lagi slow dari air kencing baby...muahahahaha..Next morningnya bangun around 7am,breakfast and terus bertolak ke Sagil,initial plan nak mandi kat bawak aja,so I pon berwedges bagaila..maklumlah ahkak vogue de vazzsss kan..Tetiba sampai sana,tukar plan mandi atas,Can u imagine me,hiking with my wedges..hazaaaaaabbbbbb sangat,tapi...bila tengok nie...

Berbaloi ok,tapak kaki,tangan semua luka,lebam....sadis ah...Tapi yang paling tak bleh blah,pompuan sorang yang verangan Puteri Gunung ledang nie...

Kalah ke seksaan Tiara Jacqueline dalam PGL kan....Hadoila anak ~Geleng kepala

Mengong Tak Mengong??

2011-10-13T04:13:00.000+01:00

assalamualaikum..Happy Thursday peeps..Walaupun daku keje weekends nie tapi tetap happy sebab esok dah Jumaat..yeay! TGIF kan?kan? Ada apa dengan tittle blog today..Al kisahnya semalam sebelum meeting I tetiba ada mood nak hupdate bloggie..yelah,sebab Rabu kan,pe lagie,WW lah..so,memandangkan semua pc office dah di occupied,I pon gunalah my I phone sebab easier guna blogpress since 1 jek gambar nak upload kan..Sekali,sampai ke sudah takleh publish...GGGRrrrr..mengong betol la...sakit hati..so,sampai ke sudah haku tak hupdate ha,lantak...

Meeting yesterday ok.Banyak kejelah nak kena buat..My day semalam kira oklah kecuali hati nie meluat jugak dengan ke hipokritan manusia sekeliling.Tak pahamla apa motif depa nie menanam tebu di bibir aja depan kita,belakang kita macam-macam mengata kita kan..tak taula apa motif,ke kau jealous aku lagi cun dari kau?Muahahahaha..statement tak bleh blah...

I don't think pretending is the right thing to do..Kalau meluat or tak suka,tak payahla nak berbasi-basi dengan I ok..Tambah meluat...Menci lah..Especially bila kita tau that particular person mengata macam-macam belakang kita.Wei,rezeki manusia masing-masing...Tak payah nak dengki ke rasa tercabar ke..Kalau rasa orang tu better,compete the healthy way la..ni malas dok kat Malaysia nie,sebab banyak sangat politics..cepatla aku balik UK balik..sakit jiwa dah..

Sakit hati lagi,bila that person yang talam 2 muka tuh tak tau kita dah tau ke 'choy' an mulut dia kan...Ya Allah,bagilah aku kesabaran nak mengadap manusia2 separuh betul nie ha...bosan la wei...Aku sikit pon tak jentik kau,kan,yang kau nak kacau hidup aku,waddehel kan? Ini boleh mendatangkan MARAH..Hish,aku nie hari2 kene istighfar aja....kang hilang sabar kang,iskh..tak guna cakaplah...

Ok meen,breath in,breath out..inhale..exhale...Ok,ingat Cameron Highlands....eh?tiba-tiba!

Flawless Skin For RM30!!!

2011-10-11T05:45:00.002+01:00

assalamualaikum dear readers..hadoi,gila mengantuk tahap gaban dah nih..sebab tido kul 5am..Why?sebab lutut lebam?Why?Sebab ahkak vogue you all nie pegi mendaki Gunung ledang pakai wedges,ok??Sadis ke tak tu??? So,macam nangka busukla jatuh 2,3 kali kat Gunung tuh,nasib air and secenery dia marvelous giler..macam tak percaya pulak ke cun nan tempat tuh..5 stars..fully recommended laaaa...

Ok,I tau I hutang entry yang best gila yang korang tak sabar nak baca kan...Well,actually apa yang menyebabkan muka kita jadi kusam and berjerawat?Sebab banyak jugak minyak and toksin yang terkumpul dalam badan especially muka kan..So,today nak share my regime..cheh,regime la sangattt...I buatla 2,3 times a week..actually 1 time a week pon dah cukup...Takyah buat apa pon,selain muka jadi cun,selulit pon pecah....apa macam?2 in 1 kan?best kan?

Where to do it?

HERE!

;

http://www.zazenhealthsolutions.com/wellness-products/zazen-fir-thermal-system/benefits.html

Banyak benefits dia..selain weight loss..ada beauty and skin jugaks..which I like..Treatment dia is lepak dalam kebuk kayu sauna infra red tuh for 30 mins..NAKED ok?lalalalaala...kunci la pintu bilik tuh..then bawakla magazines ke apa kan,so tak boring...

Berkesan kah untuk saya?

Mari kita lihat..siapa yang kenaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

Sebelum Pergi Zazen....Peloh-lessssssssssss..kusammmmm

Abaikan muka si Kyra tuh..tengok I jek...takda seri,kan??

Now you see..

Now you don't..

After several visits,around 2,3 times kot..

Ok,la kan?? takdelah Peloh-less lagie kan..kasik chancelah akak pehrasan flawless...Zazen nie banyak branch,so you can check the website..tengok yang nearer to ur place,kay?

My opinion??

SANGATTTTTT PUAS HATI..Kalah FACIAL,okeh! :P

Not Perfect!

2011-10-10T08:15:00.002+01:00

assalamualaikum...I'm so sorry la,lama gila tak write something here..ada jek post,tapi yang pendek-pendek and I felt that I'm writing those without my soul..Kita tau kan bila kita menulis sepenuh jiwa atau separuh jiwa...habis,dah separuh jiwa ku pergi,kan.mana taknya...:P cheh.

Well,apart from work and Kyra...I'm just too tired la..So,I choose not to write,kot kang ntah hapa2 aku merepek here...better write bila writing mojo tu dah datang,kan..well,I know I owe you girls an entry about being flawless..Nanti key,gambarnya ntah mana pulak I letak..dah jumpa gambar tuh,I buat that entry kay..

Today i wanna share something about being perfect..and how love relates to that..Dulu-dulu kan sebelum kawen mesti korang dah ada jejaka idaman kan,mesti dah list down ciri-ciri si dia yang korang nak,kan..Siap dah ada specs tuh,tinggi mana,kurus mana,kulit kaler apa kan?Muahahahha..kalau nak tau,haku berangan nak kawen dengan mat saleh,boley??? Motippp? Sebab nak anak Pan Asian....Hahahaha,tak bleh blah kan alasan? Bukannya nak kumpul pahala tambahkan umat Islam...uhukuhukuhuk..now dah insap,kay??

Well,if you asked me,I always like someone yang kulitnya sawo matang sebab nampak macho..hehehe..pada I,kalau putih,especially putih merah tu nampak too 'jambu' lah pastuh macam takleh protect I jek kalau kena kacau ke haper ke..Then ciri lain is tak merokokla...mati-mati tuh taknak kawen dengan orang yang smoke..

Last-last..kawen dengan perokok tegar la pulak...Banyak jugak menda yang I don't like about him mula-mula...Tapi dah lama-lama,I tend to accept all his flaws....I started thinking that love is not a bout perfection..but its far beyond that...sebab me myself pon bukan perfect and he accepted me just the way I am..and I'm so thankful of that...

Hati tu yang paling penting,not physical appearance...well,penting jugakla rupa kan dah kau nak hadap muka tuh jugak 30,40 tahun..habis,takkan kau nak pandang tempat lain kalau kau tak lalu nak tengok,kan...

Marriage will never be perfect....akan ada ups and downs..akan ada suka duka,tangisan dan air mata..Owh,how I missed him so much..all the laughters and tears that we had...Time nie kalau orang nak bagi aku 100 juta pon aku takkan tukar dengan dia...tapi,what to do,kuasaNya tu melebihi segalanya...

Nak cakap I dah moved on,bohongla sebab I know myself....I'm just hoping that one day I can look at his pictures with a smile,not a tears..well,life goes on...eventhough its so damn hard..arrghhhhhhhhhh...

I actually like someone yang simple,speaks good english so that he can teach me to be better,someone yang pandai express his feelings..Tapi kadang-kadang,cinta tu bukan about that kan...Last-last takda satu apa ciri pun yang kita nak tu kita dapat..But it doesn't matter sebab love sees beyond perfection..

Life..marriage...semuanya tak perfect..tau apa yang perfect for me?

Ini Dia!

Hah,ustazahhhhhhhh Kyra...Motip tudung lingkup bagai?Sebab nak pegi open house yang ada anak ustaz dia,boley :P

Makan Besar

2011-10-04T03:25:00.001+01:00

assalamualaikum...Hello everyone..Today,4th October 2011 is a birthday of 2 special person in my life..The 1st one is of course my dad,Happy Birthday Papa...And the 2nd one is my biras,Ayu...Hope both of them dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki hendaknya..amin...

Well,sorry its been a while since I update my blog..Apart from malas,sebenarnya busy sangat with work...Then just got to know I kena jadi emcee dinner lagi...adoi,pengsan den..dengan script tak siap lagi..hish..I'm kinda scared..This is my 1st time nak bercakap depan beratus orang,ok?Jangan I gigil lutut dahla..ke panic attack ke kan..

Ok,nie actually entry lama yang I belum masukkan in my blog lagi..This event took place masa boy balik Malaysia for raya,kira last dinner before dia shoot back to Holland la..We went here for our family dinner..

Makan apalagie kalau bukan Nie?

Mine and Kyra is Sirloine Steak..Yummilicious...Ambiance is great..Nie kat Damansara yang tepi highway tu punya VS...We had fun la...

Sorry my blogging mood memang ke laut sekarang...takda idea nak tulis apa sebab banyak kekalutan dalam hidup now..Hope the mood will come back..Amin..

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-27T15:08:00.000+01:00

The Pianist in the making..So proud of you,Kyra..Wished abah was here with us...:( :(

Stress Pon Tak Guna!!

2011-09-19T00:16:00.000+01:00

assalamualaikum...Happy Monday my darling readers..mesti rasa malas gila nak pegi keje after 3 days of holiday,kan..macam I lar...Boleh tak on Saturday tuh aku boleh rasa sangap gila dah kat umah..Mana taknya,ulang dari umah ke open house,umah ke open house...sampai serabut kepala pikir bila la nak naik keje..Ke I jek yang semangat waja gila nak pegi keje...korang mesti tak,kan?Hahaahaha

Ok,On Sunday tuh rasa sadis sangat..serabut gila wei,ada la obstacle skets..tak banyak pon but bisa buat I rasa demotivated gila,boring gila,stress sangat..sedih pon ada..nak nangis takda boyprend plaks nak pinjamkan bahu..sadis kan? :P Adoi,so,I macam kucing nak beranakla sensorang dalam bilik tuh dok pikir apala penyelesaian masalah dunia haku nie kan..But,always remember,takda masalah yang takleh diselesaikan..walaupun sadis...kena tempuhi jugak..

Selagi kita hidup kan,selagi tuh akan ada masalah, dah tutup mata,baru lah hilang segala masalah,but timbul plak masalah nak menjawab dengan mungkar nangkir tuh..Lagi haru wei,so,bersyukurla korang still alive and redha lah apa jek masalah Tuhan bagi...kan?? Masalah kat bawah sana lagi sadis,takleh lari mana dah...ya ampun...

Dulu,I memang suka stress,nasik lembik stress,laki lupa beli telo stress,Kyra letak towel basah atas katil stress..hish...nasib la haku takda high blood kan..Tuh menda kecik,kalau datang masalah dunia ke,masalah duit ke,masalah family ke,you can imagine la macamana muka haku jadik kan..memang muka toya cam tak makan setahun,seriuss aja..

Tapi boleh pulak lepas He passed away,haku macam dah jadi orang lain..Ke haku nie ada split personality ke apa..which in a way,malas nak pikir apa dah..Ke I rasa dah takda menda yang important sangat dari dia yang haku nak crack kan kepala hotak pk..Or,maybe kematian dia tuh adalah benda paling sadis,paling berat yang haku kena tanggung so menda-menda lain nie dah nampak macam besar kuman aja..maybe..kan?

But,actually,I was thinking,dok stress and sakit kepala pikir pasal masalah buat mati cepat aja,bukan boleh settle pon..So,I took everything calmly lah...Kot tetiba anak raja mana nak meminang aku,haku redha jeklah,kan..Eh,tiba-tiba! :P

So,korang pon,takyah pikir lah,masalah bf ke,masalah laki ke,masalah duit ke...tuh semua masalah dunia..hidup nie pon nak mati jugak...nak ke alam lain..yang nak semak-semak kepala pikir hal dunia tuh nak buat apa,kan?Baik la korang happy kan diri..Terima dengan tenang semua benda..Bertabahlah..cheh,1st time la pulak guna perkataan nie..poyo kan :P

Ok,hidup jangan stress..esok,if sempat,I wanna share something dengan korang...Kalau-kalau la rasa nak kulit halus mulus...watch out this space esok...Tiada siaran ulangan yek,LIVE tau...I nie bukan rajin sangat nak sharing is caring..Datang mood hantu haku rasa baik hati nak share,baru haku share...

So,korang,kita jumpa balik esok di blog yang sama,keyyyy...Hugs n Kisses..Muahsss!

One in A Million,Trust me..

2011-09-15T04:47:00.000+01:00

assalamualaikumm....Hish,I was on leave yesterday..Sebenarnya berkobar gila nak buat WW as my entry,tapi internet connection gila lembap plus I got so many things to settled..Dengan keta masuk worksop la,Thank god papa bawak pegi bengkel and uruskan..so that I can urus segala macam mak nenek hal yang lain..

I wanna share something dengan you all nie..Ingat tak I told you gals about him,being my soul mate..Selain dari both of us selalu think of the same thing,feel the same thing..Ada 1 thing lagi yang macam coincidence or memang it was meant to be...Tak caya?Nie tengok bawah nie..Gila tak?

Nie his SPM cert..He took his SPM way back in 1989..Kat Sek Men Teknik Alor Setar Kedah.....PERHATIKAN ANGKA GILIRAN DIA WHICH IS 109..

Ok,now,see mine...

I took my SPM in 1997,8 years after him,in Sek Men Convent Kajang...TENGOK BETUL-BETUL ANGKA GILIRAN SAYA....BERAPA? 109!!!!!

GILA TAK? Memang kot he is my soulmate...ONE IN A MILLION KAN...SADIS!

Just For Your Eyes Only!!

2011-09-13T01:01:00.000+01:00

assalamualaikum...hey babes..I missed all of you tau....I'm sorry la mood nak update blog agak suam-suam kuku..Apart from open houses yang nak kena visit,I have so many things in my mind nowadays..Dengan Kyra exam lagie..peninglah..So,how are you gals holding up? Rasa gemok tak musim raya nie?Ya Allah,I felt like I gained 10 kgs ke apa..padahal baru gain 1.5kgs jek,tapi panic mengalahkan apa..:P

Hello,I just bought like 2 pairs of trousers..kengkonon beli one size smaller la..dengan harapan puasa kurus..Puasa memang turun 7 kgs,dah,1st raya balun kaw-kaw kat 10 umah..hampehs..gila lah...I wished I could go back to my anak dara figure la..26-36-26..perghh..gila mantaps,kan..Hahahahaha..tak henggat puji diri sendirik..Takdelah,semua mummy out there pon cenggitu,kan..allignment balancing badan dah berterabur larik kan,especially after giving birth and breast feed..

But tak apalah,tembam pon chomel jugak apa...Nway,I wanna show you something la..exclusive for my blog reader only,jangan pulak kau panggil semua colleagues office kau tayang menda nie..malu siott...

Hahahaha,ok,I went for my honeymoon actually masa Kyra dah 3 months kot..sebabnya takde bajet,bolehh???Hahahaha..Then,I bunting pelamin dengan Kyra,tuh yang pegi bertiga tuh honeymoon..Cheh,kyra memang suka enterframe di mana-mana kan?Takleh nak tengok orang senang skets :P

Ok,drumroll,nak tengok ke-glamouran I tak time preggie Kyra? Nakkk kann??? Ha,ambik nie..Jangan mengutuk wei,tak baik bulan-bulan Syawal nie...:P

Gila,bergaya tak henggat kan..patut anak aku selalu over kalau bergaya,rupa2nya tunjuk ajarku sifu kannn :P

Ok babes,Happy Tuesday,dah-dah,pegi sambung buat keja.esok kita sambung citer lagi kay..BTW,to Ain yang tegur I time tengah melantak Chicken Rice tu,nice meeting you,sweetheart..Kalau you all terjumpa I ke,tegurla ye,I love meeting new friends..Sayanggg Korang,muahhss!

Confused...

2011-09-07T16:46:00.001+01:00

assalamualaikum darlings...hish,dah nak Jumaat balik,kan..My days were full with eating activity ajer...Heran sungguh napa jadi selera sangat nak makan..padahal time puasa tuh,selera jadi mati..boleh jek makan pau sambal time bukak puasa..nasik memang tak lalu langsung..Now,nie makan..makan..makan..

Ok,I soo need to start exercising tomorrow (Kalau rajinn)...I got so many things to tell you guys..but macam tak tercerita..My mind is elsewhere...Most of the time,fikiran nie terbang ke Norwich...I'm imagining the roads..the city centre...semuanya...

Macam fresh gila...certain songs just reminded me of him...certain smells...Maybe I'm lying to myself kot..trying to move on,when I never did pon...I miss him like crazy..Sometimes I just sit in the corner of my room and imagining him hugging me...and it hurts...damn it hurts my soul...my heart is bleeding and I felt the sharp pain through my vein...:(

The loneliness and emptiness is killing me...I don't wanna wished he is still here sebab taknak melawan hukum tuhan..but gosh,I missed him so much and if he'd still here,I don't have to go through what I'm going through now..

I think most of the time,its just for Kyra...Me?it doesn't matter anymore...:(

Perlu Ke Citer Raya???

2011-09-06T03:40:00.000+01:00

assalamualaikum...Tuesday today..arghhh,I'm so sleepy,and I got lotsa work to do..Boy just flown back to Amsterdam last night..hish,cemana pulak boleh miss him nie..hahahaha..:P Today busy,abis kerja nak melepak umah my friend pulak kat Klang...Semalam sampai umah dah pukul berapa dah....PENAT SANGAT!

I malas nak cerita raya sebabnya diet haku dah terkantoi...Gila makan macam haper..dahla posa lost 7 kgs..tup tup makan raya sehari naik 5 kgs apa...haru lahh...Nak tau on the 1st day raya tuh,we went to like almost 10 houses...Memula melantak breakfast hotel...aku tibai Nasik Kuning dengan Ayam Masak Merah..dengan teh tarik lagie...Then Nasi Dagang,Gulai Ikan tongkol dengan Telur,Gulai Ayam,Ayam Madu,Mee Kari,Laksam,Lontong,Nasik Himpit Kuah Kacang,Ketupat Palas and Rendang,Nasi Beriani,Sambal Ayam,Ayam Masak Merah,Satay Ayam...Ok,tu belom campur menyumbat segala jenis kueh raya dan kek-kek sedap,ok....Cemana ek aku boleh sumbat sebanyak tuh makanan dalam perut aku,especially nasik??NGERI wei!

Tak berani nak telek perut sendirik,pasti moncet kan...huh...nampaknya aku kena diet and cepat-cepat puasa 6 dah nie...sebelum baju-baju Vogue semua ketat metat...Ok,meen,petang nie kena pegi swimming 10 laps ok..eh,petang nie open house lagie...aiyarkkkkkkkk!! SAVE ME!!!

Korang nak tengok gambar raya I dengan Kyra ke...belom upload sangatt lagi,nie jek ada...jadiklah jamu mata,kann???

The 4 of us...Sorang lagi,Boy jadik tukang tangkap gambar. Sekian.

P/S: Apsal I buat aksi manja kucing tuh? Gediks kan? :P

Hours Of Separation

2011-09-05T04:19:00.007+01:00

asalaamualaikum...Happy working yer my darling readers...Serious takde mood nak kerja today..I'm so tired pusing Malaysia nie...letih,lesu,semua ada..Bestnya if I could take another week and just sleep..Hahaha,nampak sangat kaki tido,kannn..:P

My Raya was ok..not so great lah..you know why lah..but I'm blessed with family members around me..If you asked me,of course I do harap he was with us..macam biasa..but it is so mustahil kan..so,I pass jelah....Did I cry pagi raya..Of course..that one tak boleh dielakkan...but mild one lah,takdalah meraung bagai...

Owh...I realise yang I'm so sensitive now...sikit benda jek dah sentap..dah terasa..dah emo...semalam,tiba-tiba emo sampai kuar segala isi perut...you wanna know why? Tengok bawah:-

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:
That was his grave..kat Norwich,UK..yang bend down tuh Makcik Umi,she stayed there and she visited him sambil tolong-tolong cabut rumput..I was supposed to be there,ok,especially time raya..sadis tak sadis?SADISSSSSSSSSSSLAHHHHHHH...Hish,I hate the fact that I'm not around,hate the fact that I didn't bring him back..hate the fact that we are not together..

I felt like it was just yesterday that I saw him..Padahal dah 9 bulan tak bercakap,tak bercerita,tak bercinta..I felt that I just kissed him..I just lost in his arms..Padahal dah almost a year dah...Sometimes the pain is so unbearable..tak tertanggung..

Tuhan dah takdirkan that he's gonna leave me,ujian yang paling memeritkan untuk aku tanggung,perit,pedih,derita..segala semua yang tak best tuh aku rasa..Ada hari rasa pedih macam nak mati,ada hari rasa taknak bangun langsung,ada hari rasa nak menangis aja dari pagi sampai malam..

Ok,dah penat nak jiwa kacau,Dr Derek Shepherd,please come and kiss me now and blow away my sadness and worries..:)

P/S: Bila orang lain panggil aku Meen selain dari dia,aku rasa pelik..sangat pelik..apakah??

Raya Yang Merdeka

2011-09-04T03:48:00.001+01:00

assalamualaikum my darling readers..Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin semua...Hope semua happy la spend time dengan keluarga dan sanak saudara tersayang..Me on the other hand,gila penat..My pre-raya kan kat Perlis..so,2 days before Raya I dah lepak perlis,tido umah MIL,yang dikelilingi gunung-ganang dan keindahan desa..chewahh..Gila sejuk and for the 1st time,I didn't even switch on the aircond..padahal I memang tak boleh tido kalau tak ada aircond..Best kan?Mandi air yang di tadah dalam besen besar..Gila punya sejuk..dah macam air telaga aku rasa..Cheh,ok,agak over disituh :P

Then,buka puasa bersama my biras baru..jangan marah..muda belia lagi hokey,nama dia Incik Hafiz..But unfortunately I didn't take any photo with him..what a shame,Meen..Hish..But yang best mestilah lepak ramai-ramai kan..dengan ipar duai,biras,MIL and FIL..Even though it is a short stay,I enjoyed myself to da max..

And before balik,sempat lagi haku berderap dengan bro and sis in law to Pekan Rabu,AS.Walaupun haku kawen dengan oghang Utara dah 10 tahun,sekali pon tak pernah jejak pekan Rabu..Why?Sebab my husband tak suka tempat sesak,ramai orang and susah parking,dia semak kepala..Dan haku pon takde menda nak beli pon..

But the other day,I came with a mission..and Ayu pulak nak beli pekasam ada orang pesan.Me pulak,mama nak kain semayang.So,I bought 3 pieces for my mom la..mama punya pasal,hujan lebat pon haku redah jugak nak beli kain tuh...And boleh pulak sempat aku beli cotton shawl and inner..last-last tersilap pilih kaler hijau..hampehs!

Ok,gambar raya nantih-nantih yer..nie baru citer pasal pre-raya..So,below gambar dekat Pekan Rabu dengan sissyku,Ayu..Layann la dulu sementara I upload gambar Raya key?

Me and Ayu

Apa pekasam kau nak?Lampam?Puyu?Sepat...semua ada

Borong Kuih Raya dengan dodol..Wei,Samperit dia terbaekk la!!

I..woh,pipi masih tembam macam Kuih Kaswi bak kata papa aku..hish :P

Raya la Sangatttttttttttt

2011-08-25T05:40:00.001+01:00

assalamualaikum....TGIF tomorrow..Ok,walaupun mood Raya ala-ala sengal sebab you know why,tapi kerana Kyra,I kena put a smiley face jugaks kan..kang sentaps anak haku kalau haku tetiba mogok tak masak rendang daging tok favourite dia di malam raya tuh kan..:P

Apa yer rasanya,1st time beraya without my husband..hish,takleh nak imagine..pedih dah pasti,perit dah tentu..Tapi,kena jugak la go on...Maybe bila lepak dengan sedara-mara and sepupu sepapat,kurangla kesadisan tuh kan..Today I raya jugak kat kampung my hubby..Sadis kan raya kampung dia,dia pulak tak de..Nak pegi visit his grave pon,nak kena naik flights 13.5 hours...argghh...

Ok,I belom ada baju raya..ini sangat gila,macamla raya kat uk tahun lepas aku berbaju raya bagai kan..Siap keje oii time raya..Pegi umah yana for open house raya pon dah pukul 6pm..Kat Malaysia nak keja time raya?nan hado,x diterima dek akal,ok?

So,duit raya dah settle,kasut Kyra jek belom,dengan kaftan yang dia nak sangatt tuh..dah ada kaler dia berkenan,saiz pulak takdo...hish,peninglah,ni baru 1 anak,kalau ada 8 agaknya,haku yang gol dulu...:P

Kuih raya tahun nie beli tat nenas,samperit,cornflakes,kek lapis,kuih kapit dgn peneram aja..Malas nak beli beratus-ratus pastuh haku gaks kena mentedarah habiskan lepas raya...sangat tak feel,ok?

For my blog readers,my dear friends....dengan ini,I nak ambik this opprtunity untuk mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir...Kalau ada tersilap kata,terkasar bahasa ke,or ada entry-entry I yang buat korang terasa or buat korang tangkap leleh,sorry sesangat..kerana sememangnya yang baik itu datang dari Allah dan yang buruk itu datang dari kesilapan saya sendiri..

Selamat Hari Raya From Me and Kyra...Hugs and Kisses,darlings!

I've Made It Through...

2011-08-23T04:50:00.001+01:00

assalamualaikum...Happy Tuesday darlingssssss...Mesti korang perasan mood ala-ala sendu jek nak update my blog,kan..Bukan apa,I was too occupied dengan segala macam benda..nie pon Kyra punya Kaftan and kasut tak jugak dapat lagie ha...hish...And work pulak..adoi,memang tengah banyak kerja...Diam tak diam,cuti raya jeklah nanti,kan...Tuh pon siap kene buat list ha umah sapa nak kene pegi..Lama kan tak beraya kat my kampong...

These 3 days had been a real challenge for me...I almost thought that its gonna be impossible for me to made it through his birthday...Macamla dulu after his passings,rasa sangat mustahil nak go through his funeral..then rasa mustahil nak melepaskan seminggu..But now,walau dalam sadis,perit,seksa,I've made it through..Its been almost 9 months now..walaupun setengah mati...walaupun sadis gila nak bangun pagi2...hish..:(

Ok,ada 2 lagi hazab nak kene go through this year..1st would be malam and pagi raya tuh..1st time nak masak rendang segala dia tak lepak tolong I kat dapur masak sesama...Usually,settle jek masak,he would be the one yang kelam kabut ambik pinggan and 'rasmikan' my rendang...It was his favourite...cecah dengan nasik himpit...or that Adabi lemang instant....Then of course pagi raya tak dapat salam and cium tangan dia and nanges-nanges sebab banyak dosa kan...huhuhu..Part sadis is when he hugged me lepas I ngongoi mintak ampun tu..He will say.."Abang maafkan Meen..dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki..Abang pun minta maaf kat Meen"...hish,taknak ingatlah,buat haku trauma sajork.

The 2nd hazab was our wedding Anniversary on the 21st of October nie..adoi..It shud be our 11th..Lantaklah,should ke tak,I'm still gonna assume its our 11th..he's still here what with me..kan?In my heart..So,me and Kyra still gonna celebrate it..la..like we celebrated his 39th Birthday the other day...Maybe next year traume tu lessen kot sebab dah 2nd time kan..Ke lagi teruk??Hish,janganlaaaaaaaaaa...:(

But I syukur sangat kat Allah,walau 3 days nangis sampai bengkak bijik mata,then sampai tertido,I managed to go through his Birthday..mampu jugak nak senyum and melangkah kaki kan...So,syukur I diberi that kekuatan..Dalam gundah gulana tu,I stay near to Him..Nak sedih jek baca Quran and istighfar..Alhamdulillah,I got better..

And of course,support dari orang-orang tersayang..kan...TQ la korang sebab push me,motivates me,sabarkan me...tenangkan me...can't thank you enough..Korang memang best la..You rock,bebeh! Ok,enjoy the pics below yeah.Credit to my sis in law.Suasana my sis and bro's 7 Anniversary cum My husbands 39 Birthday..

To My Darling baby...Happy 39th Birthday,sayang..I seriously feel that you were there with us..perhaps,u are?

Venue;Red Card Cafe Bangi

Date:21st August 2011

Buffet Ramadhan@RM20 per adult....

Happy 39th Birthday,My Love....

2011-08-20T17:38:00.006+01:00

assalamualaikum..Today,21st of August,bersamaan dengan 21 Ramadhan,genap usia dia 39 tahun jika dia masih ada bersama I dan Kyra..Namun,kuasa tuhan mengatasi segalanya..He was taken to see his Creator on the 17th of December 2011..

The Day the earth stood still for me..The day you slipped away was the day I found out I won't be the same again..I'm tired of this tears that keeps falling on my cheek..I had my wake ups but why don't you do the same?

The 1st Birthday we didn't celebrate together in this 13 years..Your last year punya present pon you tak sempat enjoy kan?You pergi dulu...leaving me and Kyra behind...Takda sapa yang I boleh blame..Because you were never mine pon to begin with..:(

You Milik Dia...Tuhan yang Mencipta..You hanya dipinjamkan untuk I dengan Kyra..untuk merasa secebis kasih sayang you..untuk berkongsi sebuah cinta agung...I wished you were here with us...Sebab I sebenarnya tak mampu hidup tanpa you...I hate the fact that you weren't there when I woke up..I hate the fact that I had to do my own Mee Goreng Indo Mee..I hate the fact that you're not there to look at me in my eyes and say that you loved me with all your heart..:(

I found this in a box in your mom's house..I remembered seeing this in a frame in your bedroom..you put this beside you when you sleep at night..

You wrote "I WOULD ONLY LIVE WITH U,OR NOT AT ALL..."

Then,how about me now.....:( I want to live only with you too..But now when you're gone,how am I gonna go on??

Happy 39th Birthday sayang....I promised I will take care of Kyra as how you want me to ..Perit dan berat macamana pun,mama akan teruskan juga hidup ini,demi you..demi anak kita...Dulu kita bertemu ini berpisah...Tapi kini,kita berpisah untuk bertemu..one sweet day..di mana semuanya kekal dan tiada siapa yang akan tinggalkan sesiapa..You,Me..Kyra..

Happy 7th Anniversary To Yan and Ayu..Semoga bahagia ke anak cucu..Amin...

Sadis Di Pukul 12am.

2011-08-17T17:54:00.016+01:00

assalamualaikum..Salam Jumaat everyone....Sorry tak sempat nak update blog..taktau pehal blogger nie nak dajalkan I pulak kan..banyak kali bukak,haram nak boleh type..hish..Mencabar keimanan sungguh..

Ni nak citer..The other day,me and my bloggers friends,Zarin dengan Eda pi la bukak posa kat sari ratu Subang Parade tuh..I brought Kyra and Zarin bawak Hasya.Eda datang solo aja..So,macam biasalah we all kan makan,menyembang..sampai tak ingat dunia..sedar-sedar aja dah kosong Sari Ratu tu tinggal kitorang aja...hish..

Si Kyra pulak I tengok dok menggigil,ingatkan sejuk biasa,nah kau,dalam kereta rasa badan dia panas bebenau dah..Haku pon pecut keta macam haper...Balik umah,my parents tak ada pulak.Tunggu they all balik,then me and Papa bawak dia pegi hospital..Tuh pun pasal I tak berani nak gamble bila tengok her temperature is 39 degrees..Takut wei..

Dah dalam keta,haku pulak yang menangis teresak-esak..Phobia wei.Sejak He left,haku bukan boleh tengok orang sakit ke hape ke..Kyra lagi la,2 tahun tak demam..tetiba demam panas,tak pancik ke haku? Hish..Lepas tunggu almost half an hour,Doc bagi ubat demam and antibiotics...Hope she will get better..Ok,maybe aku memang lembik....Tapi,anak aku tuh.Sapa tak sayang anak wei.Aku sayang dia..sangat-sangat.PERIOD.

Wordless Wednesday 2

2011-08-16T16:49:00.001+01:00

Heya girlfriends...WW2..

Taken in March 2011-Muka pucat lesi siot..temperature -4 rasanya..Just 3 months after his passings..Senyuman PLASTIK sangattttt kannnn :P

Kalau nak gebus................

2011-08-16T03:01:00.001+01:00

assalamualaikum darlings....Aduihla,apsal la rasa dalam bulan Ogos ni lambat sangat berlalu..Cepatlaaaaaaa.I just want this month quickly pass me by...I hate to celebrate this puasa and raya without him..Hate to celebrate his 39th Birthday without him..iskh..iskh...sadisnya rasa kena go through memenda nie..Tapi tetap takleh lari kan dari ketentuan ilahi...Redha memangla redha,tapi perit wooo :(

Dah..dah..malas pulak nak cakap menda sob..sob..baik I simpan melancholy I nie utk hari Ahad ni yer...Ha,napa Ahad nie?21st nie is his 39th Birthday.....adodododododoi :(

Ok,masuk bab kecantikanla today...actually I nie memang bukan beauty concious ye pauan-puan..Bak kata husband I,dia heran dalam handbag I takde tisu,takde cermin,takde compact powder and takde lipstick.Hahaha,dia pelik katenya...But I memang jenis simple...kadang time malas gila,memang kuar bare face aja,lip balm terpaksa pakaila kang teruk sangat rupa I pulak...

So,jangan harapla haku nak berlulur bagai,berlosyen bagai..Takde dalam kamus hidup..Kenapa?Couldn't be bother..Time he's around ke he's not around ke memang I malas...Basic aja lah,wash my face and put toner.Then sejak dok uk,baru I buh moisturiser because of the dry and cold weather kan..tuh pon TERPAKSA,derr!!

Ok,then kan,ditakdirkan 1 hari nan indah..sewaktu I and Kyra kat Norwich Railway station..time tuh nak pegi London..So,nak kena naik train..Like usual,memang we all akan beli stock magazine lah kan..So,I beli Vogue ke hapa,then dia bagilah sample satu lotion nie...I macam biasa,malas haku nak bother pasal not my passion kat..So,busyla belek mags tuh ushya2 handbag dengan dresses..Then dah habis baca,tak sampai jugak lagi kat London..

Then dek keboringan melampau,haku pun belekla lotion yang dapat sample tuh..sajalah gatal nak try..boring tu woii dok dalam train tak buat apa.......Bau memang tak bleh blah...Sebab bukan ala-ala VS kan..yang bau wangi setaman tuh...Saja la haku calit kat tempat kritikal seperti siku yang dah berkerak dek bertahun tak di lotion kan..Perggh,,statement tuhhhh..adoih..

Then,sapu punya sapu kat siku kat tangan..tehn lepas 5 minit,rasa siku haku lembut..tangan pon sama..Gila miracle lotion nih...walaupun bau nya ala-ala sucks kan :P Selepas dari hari itu,haku pun teruslah menggunakan lotion tu..Now,dah tak bau busuk...rasa bau dia memang macam nak makan tangan haku sendiri,especially di bulan puasa ni.

I recommend this lotion la kat korang..perghh..tangan haku memang lembut and gebuss aja now..siku pon..Bak kata Kyra.."Mama,your skin is as smooth as a baby's butt"...Hahaha,anakku memang suka up kan mamanye kan..:P

Betul,tak tipu....dah..dah..kalau korang nak pikat cik abang ke...hape ke..pi la cari this lotion..Tak mahal pon RM35 la kot..but tahan 2 bulan..haku guna jimat giler...Lotion apa?

Ni Ha!

:

:

:

:

:

(Image from Google)
Ha,ni dia la yang diberi nama Palmers Cocoa Butter..Serius tak tipu memang syok lotion nie..cubalah..pastuh korang buatla aksi gesel2 tangan kat pipi l;aki korang..sure dia terkejut badak kulit korang dah lembut gebu kan..:P

You must Get Hurt..

2011-08-15T06:28:00.000+01:00

assalamualaikum pretty peeps....I had a really good weekends..Gila aih,gelak2 dengan cousin2..then semua melopong tengok badminton..stress woo jerit-jerit...I cooked Nasi Ayam Madu and buat pudding cocktail..Mama pulak buat sambal udang and mixed vege...Overall it was a success walaupun kelam kabutla skets...but its ok..

I was thinking this morning..how fragile we were as humans kan...We do get hurt..we do bleed...but its ok,in order to realise we are human..and we are not made of steel..We laugh,we cry...We had our ups and downs...Thats the beauty of living..Kalau dah mati,semua nie pon kita tak rasa kan..

I have soo many things to say..to tell you..but not enough time la...busy sangat today..dengan lambat pergi kerja dengan staffs tak datang...hmm..thats life la..how tough it is pon,kena go through jugak..Did I say I'm blessed for everyone I have around me?Especially Kyra..:) Good day peeps,see ya tomorrow..

Bacalah.......:)

2011-08-11T15:28:00.000+01:00

assalamualaikum..Salam Jumaat my darling Bella's.Hope semua semakin serasi dah berpuasa kan..This year baru sekali I pi Pasar Ramadhan..Malas la nak pegi,sebab kadang foodnya ntah haper2..Baik makan Coklat Kurma kat umah..eh,ke Kurma Coklat..Taktaula...

Weekends nie belom ada plan..Baju pre-raya dah beli 2 helai..nanti ek reveal..Muahahaha..siott kan..Beli time belom posa,diorang belum up kan rega..Kalau beli dekat nak raya ha,sumer demand..ntah mark up 60% haper? :P

Ok,baju raya buat masa ni ada kaler apple green and black..well,bukan baju raya kot sebenarnya..More to Baju function kot..Baju raya yang betol-betol sebetulnya belum beli lagi..Iskh,adik ipar nak kawen pulak,nak pakai brown theme,nampaknya kena menyusur jalan TAR haper nak pi cari baju kaler brown la pulak.

Ok,enuff la pasal kes baju raya..today nak share pasal something useful for us..Like we all know, kita memang di sarankan baca Al-Quran kan...Semua surah pun bagus..but today nak share khasiat 2 surah iaitu surah Al-Mulk, Surah Ad-Dukhan dan Surah Al-Hasyr.

SURAH AL-MULK(surah yang ke-67-mengandungi 30 ayat)

Daripada Ibnu Abbas r.a berkata:

“Bacalah surah al-Mulk dan ajarkanlah kepada ahli keluarga kamu dan semua anak kamu dan juga kepada anak-anakmu yang belum baligh di rumahmu dan jiran tetanggamu, sesungguhnya yang menyelamatkan dan berdebat di hari kiamat di hadapan Allah swt memohon ampun kepada pembacanya supaya Allah swt menyelamatkan dia daripada api neraka dan pembacanya juga selamat dari siksaan kubur!”

SURAH AD-DUKHAN (surah yang ke-44-mengandungi 59 ayat)

Daripada abi Hurairah r.a. berkata :nabi saw telah bersabda:

“Sesiapa yang membaca surah Ad-dukhan pada waktu malam, maka esoknya 70,000 malaikat akan meminta ampun baginya”.

SURAH AL-HASYR(surah yang ke-59-mengandungi 24 ayat)

Nabi saw bersabda:

“Barangsiapa yang membaca 3 ayat terakhir surah al-Hasyr maka Allah swt mewakilkan 70 malaikat berselawat atasnya hingga petang. Begitu juga waktu petang dan jika dia meninggal pada hari itu, ia dikira mati syahid”

Bulan Ramadhan bulan penuh keberkatan..So,kita

boleh ambil peluang melipatgandakan pahala

kita,kan..Hope semua dapat manfaat from my post

today.Happy Weekends,Sayang!

Demm Hurt lahhh

2011-08-10T16:18:00.001+01:00

assalamualaikum my babes semua...Hope everything is well and semua sure dah start excited nak buat raya preparation kan..To be frank,ntah,I just couldn't be bothered kot..More to Kyra..Dah beli hers 2 pasang..then nak beli caftan kot 1 more kat dia..I?Maybe last minit bila dah terpaksa..I sambarlah mana-mana..just to be considered as 'baju raya' kan..

I don't know how to tell u this...I had to see his death cert yesterday to settled his stuffs kan..banyak jugak benda dokumen itu ini pasal his death yang still pending..Yes,its all because of me..I delayed it sebab I don't wanna fill the form..I don't wanna write his name..don't wanna remember his IC number..Gila 8 bulan haku taknak tengok death cert dia tuh..Then tonight..gather my strength....dengan lafaz Bismillah haku pon selakla death cert dia.

Just like I predicted..tengok aja cause of death,haku dah mengongoi..Gila aih,takleh tahan pedih nie...sakitnya dada..rasa macam orang robek-robek hati I nie...Then I realise my signature macam siott..Memang time sign tuh I ingat lagi yang my mind was somewhere else and for a second,I just forgot how my signature look like..Gila lah trauma hari nak sign death cert tuh..

Memang sadis sebab dari Registrar Office uk tuh,I cried like hell till my house...berduala dengan Kyra menangis dalam keta tuh..nasib haku tak masuk parit ke haper..dah kepala dah takleh nak concentrate kan..hadoila..

Benda dah takleh avoid kan...nama anak I bin kan dia jugak..memang malas rasa bila kena tulis nama dia..Bukan malas benci ke menyampah..malas pedih..malas sayu..malas hurt..I was trying so hard to move on...Surat-surat cinta dia 13 tahun lepas I tak baca dah..Bukan sebab nak lupakan dia..sebab nak jaga hati I and Kyra..Kalau I start reading memang 3 hari 3 malam la mata bengkak...

Sorryla korang pulak kena dengar luahan hati berulam jantung I kan..I'm hoping that Allah wll give me sinar baru..so that one day,I eventually can move on jugak...Tapi itulah..it left the deepest scar in my heart..yang tu sampai bila pon takkan boleh heal..

Sayang,I miss you so much..Bila nie I nak jumpa you..So many things I wanna tell you..:(

I missed hugging you.....I missed your smell..I missed your cooking..:( Mesti you missed me sebab I missed you gila2...Kadang-kadang I terpaksa buat-buat tak pikir pasal you to divert my mind..taknak sedih..but the truth is..you've been in my mind and heart like 24-7..

"Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss."

Sorry For Not Updating

2011-08-10T04:32:00.000+01:00

assalamualaikum...I'm so sorry lama dah tak update blog...Its just that there's too many things on my mind..Work is increasing...and I have plans for future as well..Life is crazy for the time-being..too mkany craziness lah..I'm trying to stay strong to face all this obstacles...Demmit la dengan benda-benda yang menyemakkan kepala ni..arrgghh..

By the way,just nak share the conversation I had with Kyra the other night..:-

Kyrana:Mama,you should think about love now you know..

Mama:Nope..Not in the mood to think about it and don't think I gotta time for it just yet..
...
Kyrana: Mama..without love..life is lifeless..

Mama:Erkkk....(Gila,anak aku bermadah memalam buta!)

I don't know what to say..just smile..In my heart..I'm the only one who knows and feel the real pain and sorrow..

Saya Yang Dulu..

2011-08-07T06:05:00.001+01:00

assalamualaikum....Happy working peeps..ok,saya bolehla dikatakan agak ceria now nie..al-maklumlah..dalam hati ada taman..kan..kan..:P hah,taman haper la tu?Ceria sebab sejak puasa,my weight dah turun almost 3kgs..Happy la kan..tuh yang menyebabkan taman hati tumbuh munga-munga cinta...Bukan cintun manusia..cinta diri..I love myself :)

Weekends melepak dengan sepupu dan anak sepupu..sambil beli baju raya Kyra..Cheh,minah tuh nak kasut Crocs..gilo ke haper RM209. Pokai mama kau ni..tapi memang cun arr kasut tuh..selesa..senang nak sauk aja pakai..I loike..Maybe kalau dia puasa penuh..lalalala..maybe...perhaps...:)

Ok,I was looking at someone's blog..tau jeklah bulan posa,ha,melumba kau semua nak posting menu bukak posa,be it home-cooked or buka kat luar...Nampaklah gambar Nasi Goreng Cina..Demmit,terus teringat zaman form 3 kan kene masak untuk KH(Kemahiran Hidup)..Haku nie memang fail segala..jahit menatang tutup oven tuh pon Hani,my best friend yang buatkan..kantoi kan haku?Adoi..memang bukan wanita melayu terakhir sungguh..masak fail,jahit fail..melawa jek kurang fail :P lalalalalala

Korang tau tak,kan kena buat cookies kat time KH..patut jadi crunchy,haku punya jadik chewy and keras..Nasik goreng rasa macam phtfdgatusngsyshtystttgg...Ntah haper-haper..rasa malu pulak orang lain boleh buat bagi jadi...iskh,ke haku malas nak berusaha..or takde mood at that time?

Tapi,korang jangan under-estimate me tau...citer 16 tahun lepas tuh biar jadik lipatan sejarah jek ek..Masuk form 5,ahkak dah terror la masak..masak maggie...masak nasi..masak air..hahahaha..takdelah,I'm glad that my mom taught me so much..So,now,kalau nak masak tu insy no problem..tapi,haku memang fail bab baking..tak reti nak setting oven temperature..

Ok,masuk bulan nie,8 bulan dah tak masak..lalalalala...jangan tanya la kenapa..susah ahkak nak komen ha..Yang pasti,tak sanggup ingat favourite food dia..rasa sebal pulak dada nak masak..But,I think its time to move on..Bukan move on hati..tu belom lagi..taktaula bilanya nak move on bab hati tu.

Move on,nak start masak balik.Nasi Hujan Panas,Ayam masak merah,Nasi Beriani,Nasi Tomato,Rendang Tok,Kuzi Kambing..Arrghh..sumer favourite dia jugak yang haku mention..kan...

Nasi Beriani Ayam Meen's Style

Ok,ESOK saya akan mula masak balik lepas 8 bulan...Doakan saya berjaya ambik that 1st step..walaupun perit..dan pedih..Menu Pilihan...Gulai Ikan Masin Dan Nenas....iskh,his top favourite jugaks.......Hadoila,Labu!

CRAZY AUTHENTIC DESIGNER BAGS SALE!!!

2011-08-04T17:15:00.003+01:00

assalamualaikum...My brother is coming back to Malaysia in 2 weeks time..So,these are the bags he's bringing home...ALL BAGS CAME FRESH FROM ROERMOND OUTLET!!!Cepat-Cepat sapa cepat dia dapat..JUALAN MURAH RAYA!!

CALON PERTAMA

Etienne Aigner Shoulder Bag

Inital Price: RM899

Discount Price: RM 692 !!!

CALON KEDUA

Gucci Leather bag (Sling)

Initial Price: RM3375

Discount Price: RM1688

CALON KETIGA

Gucci Tote Bag (Initial Price: RM2892)

Discount Price: RM1450 !!!

CALON KEEMPAT

Gucci Shoulder Bag (Initial Price: RM3500)

Discount Price: RM1750!!!

CALON KELIMA

ETIENNE AIGNER SHOULDER BAG IN RED

Initial Price: RM1281

Discount Price: RM985 (after 30% less)!!!

OK,Kalau minat any of those,sila leave a

comment or email me at

mariniyusuf@yahoo.com

BAG AKAN SAMPAI KE MALAYSIA IN 2 WEEKS TIME

GIRLS,BOOKING OF RM 150 IS REQUIRED TO

SECURE THE BAG.PAYMENT CAN BE MADE VIA

CIMB CLICKS.

GRAB ONE FOR RAYA!!!!

Boleh Tak Jangan Bagi Alasan Bodoh?

2011-08-03T02:32:00.001+01:00

assalamaulaikum sweetie pies! Errkk..semalam hari yang stress buat saya..tau kenapa stress?Sebab I nak minum air tebu fresh..taknak yang dah campor ice dgn air gula tu..So I pon bersemangat waja la beratur..Ada lah 10 org kot depan me..menunggulah diriku dengan penuh sabar dan tawadduk..Tetiba,sampai giliran 3 org depan ahkak,habis dah air tebu......Nak hangen pon bulan posa...Takdak rejeki wei!!Adoyai,today kene pi pukul 4pm la nampaknya..Kalau tak,terlepassssssssss!

Ok,tutup kisah air tebu terlampau..:) Seperti yang kita semua tau..penduduk dunia nie kan memang lah obvious perempuan dominates lelaki..so,memang orang laki boleh pasang banyak sekali jalan.Tapi,itu lantak dioranglah..Hati diorang boleh pecah banyak bilik..ada 4 bilik sekali masa.Ada sebab kenapa Allah bagi lelaki kahwin 4..sebab hati dia dah dijadikan boleh menyayangi ramai perempuan pasa satu masa..kan..Itu hukum Allah,semua kene terima..pedih tak pedih,Tuhan tu tau segalanya sebelum adanya sesuatu.

But,tolonglah lelaki kat luar sana,be a gentelman la,we all tau you all memang boleh sayang ramai pompuan dalam 1 masa..Tapi,kalau kau nak dump gf ke tunang kau pon,agak-agakla bagi alasan.Haku heranla apsal kalau nak dump pompuan ke,nak bercerai ke kau nanti bagi alasan bukan kerana orang ke tiga..Motiff?? Supaya orang tak cop kau keji kan?Padahalllllllllllll.Cakap jelah nafsu kau besar and kau memang gatal kan..sebab tak salah pon kau nak 4 ,asalkan kau mampu..

Samalah kalau nak ceraikan bini pon pasal calon bini no 2 taknak bermadu..so,nanti kau cananglah yang masa no 2 nie datang dalam hidup kau,memang marriage kau dah bermasalah..Padhal doplohtiga tahun sebelum,kau happy aja..

Kalau nak dump tunang or gf sebab nafsu kau ke arah pompuan vogue,dahi licin and seksi,cakap jelah..Saya terpaksa putuskan hubungan sebab saya dah jumpa awek lain yang menarik hati dan mata saya.Saya minta maaf..Kan senang?haku lebih rela dapat alasan macam tuh dari bagi alasan sial macam "Kami dah lama bermasalah,ni bukan disebabkan orang ketiga" Padahal,sah-sah kau memang main kayu tiga tapi taknak society nampak kekejian kau kan?

Wei,jadilah lelaki,jangan jadi jantan..Bagi lah alasan logik sikit,kita pompuan nie bukan bodoh,ada otak boleh fikir,WTH kan?Lelaki bukan sekor,melambak lagi ikan di laut..So,jangan ingat kau bagus sangat! Nak dump,dump aja terus..tak payah nak bagi alasan taik..Kalau kau dah kawen and nak kawen lagi satu,kalau orang tanya apsal?Apa hal dengan bini No 1 kau? Cakap aja,takda apa salah silap Bini No 1..saya memang nak kawin satu lagi sebab saya mampu dan saya memang nak cari yang lain sikit dari bini no 1..Boleh?? :P

P/S : Haku memang pantang kalau laki menipu ni.Cakap je terus terang,senang! Korang setuju dengan I kan?? :)

What I Miss About England..

2011-08-02T03:15:00.002+01:00

assalamualaikum.2nd dah puasa today...semalam terpaksa half day sebab tak larat sangat kedemaman...hadoila...Hopefully I'll get better today..Macam nilah hidop..ada naik turun,ada sihat,ada sakit kan..

Well,what to do,kena sabarrr aja banyak-banyak...On the other note,I'm glad that I have people that loves me around me...It's not the same with him..but,this is what I got now and I'm gonna appreciate every one of them now.Life is good now..sadis memang sadis,1st puasa,1st birthday and 1st raya without him..Tapi kalau hantuk kepala kat dinding pon masalah tak selesai jugak kan.

Sejak balik for time off ke Malaysia nie,a part of me rasa lega becoz my family is around..but a part of me tertinggal kat sana... Kenapa saya rindu England?

1.Manners..

Maafla kalau I said that orang Malaysia nie kurang budi bahasa or lack of manners..Especially on the road..kat supermarket..Kalau nak keluar simpang,jangan harap orang nak bagi jalan..pastuh suka sangat potong queue..The other day,me and Kyra almost nak kena langgar dekat zebra crossing..We all dah half way,ada pulak keta Honda yang datang laju,padahal dia kene stop la kan..Or maybe dia buta..bukan mata,tapi hati! Serius cakap,kalau kena Kyra,I will bang the door,tarik mangkok hayun tu keluar keta and lempang dia laju2..jangan kau berani nak cederakan anak aku..Nahas kau!Kalau kat UK,kereta nie sanggup berlanggar sebab nak berenti kat zebra crossing...Nak keluar simpang tak payah nak angkat-angkat tangan..orang akan bagi jalan...The other day kat sebuah jalan yang sebok,haku kesian kat sorang singh nie,bagi la dia kuar simpang,keta Volvo..haram nak senyum or angkat tangan,buat muka kekwat lagie ada...Nak aja haku bukak cermin jerit kat dia cakap "Oi,tak sekolah ke?"

2.Price of goods..

Kalau nak tau,government Malaysia nie memang terkenal dengan tax nya yang tinggi...Perfumes yang high end kat sini boleh cecah 4,5 ratus..padahal haku beli kat sana RM200++ aja..Murah RM200 tuh..sadis ke tak?Borong satu troli penuh pon baru dalam RM150-RM200..Sini?jangan harap..kalau bawak RM50,se das jek boley habis...Tol sepasal la..Iskh,sana takde tol ha nak pegi kerja..Amannnnnnnn aja takyah kalut nak reload TNG bagai...I miss the milk la..baru 0.30 pence...Paling syok Evian water la..kat sini RM10 wei aku beli botol kecik..Nak mampos cekik darah..Kat sana baru 0.50 pence..kalau kali pon baru RM2.30.Boleyla aku buat berus gigi kan air Evian tuh..lalalalala...:P

3.Weather..

Yang nie memang takleh ubah..sebab sana 4 seasons..saya paling suka time Spring..becoz the flowers blooming everywhere..then its not hot and its not cold...Macam weather genting highlands tu...argghh..blissful..Air quality is far better sebab my place to memang takda kilang...So,memang best!

Ok,above all why I missed England so much is...sebab DIA! He 's there! Yang Tu lah ultimate reason nya..daaaaaaa!!

My Journey KL-LONDON

Love Is In The Air...

Picture Perfect!

While You Were Sleeping

Tiba Juga.......

Dia...Dia dan Dia Lagi..

Dari Mata Turun Ke Hati

Definasi Cantik Tu Tak Sama Wei!!

Betapa Ku Terlalu....

Flawless La Sangatttttt

New Love....Pray For Me..

Not The Same Girl...

When you are just too tired..

His Last Anniversary Note

angel of mine...my angel of mercy!

Seribu Tahun Lagi

Ferasan Puteri Gunung Ledang..

Mengong Tak Mengong??

Flawless Skin For RM30!!!

Not Perfect!

Makan Besar

Wordless Wednesday

Stress Pon Tak Guna!!

One in A Million,Trust me..

Just For Your Eyes Only!!

Confused...

Perlu Ke Citer Raya???

Hours Of Separation

Raya Yang Merdeka

Raya la Sangatttttttttttt

I've Made It Through...

Happy 39th Birthday,My Love....

Sadis Di Pukul 12am.

Wordless Wednesday 2

Kalau nak gebus................

You must Get Hurt..

Bacalah.......:)

Demm Hurt lahhh

Sorry For Not Updating

Kyrana:Mama,you should think about love now you know..Mama:Nope..Not in the mood to think about it and don't think I gotta time for it just yet.....Kyrana: Mama..without love..life is lifeless..Mama:Erkkk....(Gila,anak aku bermadah memalam buta!)

I don't know what to say..just smile..In my heart..I'm the only one who knows and feel the real pain and sorrow..

Saya Yang Dulu..

CRAZY AUTHENTIC DESIGNER BAGS SALE!!!

Boleh Tak Jangan Bagi Alasan Bodoh?

What I Miss About England..

Kyrana:Mama,you should think about love now you know..

Mama:Nope..Not in the mood to think about it and don't think I gotta time for it just yet..
...
Kyrana: Mama..without love..life is lifeless..

Mama:Erkkk....(Gila,anak aku bermadah memalam buta!)